Who hasn’t written a (good) post or an article that wasn’t hijacked and turned into something only slightly reminiscent of the original? Imitation and flattery, together again.

When we wrote an article on Paris Hilton, it spread like wild-fire. It was posted on entertainment sites, blogs and other article repositories, mostly credited to us. But the best versions were the ones put through a synonymizer (article blender), resulting in new works that, bless those poor deviants’ hearts, were far more poetic and inventive than we ever thought possible — maybe even better than the original.

Here are some of best excerpts (in bold), with the original text included for reference:

1. Ah, City of Light Hilton [Ah, Paris Hilton]. bet you figured that one out.

2. So how did she go celebrated adequate to work her ever-burning mass media spotlight? [So how did she become famous enough to exploit her ever-burning media spotlight?] you missed that one?

3. …most of them aren’t on the presence page of the yellow journalisms every week [most of them aren’t on the front page of the tabloids every week] wow.

4. her frequent visual aspects at swanky events and waist clubs [her frequent appearances at swanky events and hip clubs]. i kid you not.

5. City Of Light passion was in high gear, having barred her topographic point in the tabernacle of friends who have got done really dense things… [Paris mania was in high gear, having secured her spot in the pantheon of celebrities who have done really dumb things…]

6. …and the physical object of scorn, ridicule and conversation at H2O ice chests across the globe. No amount of money could have got bought more than far-reaching word of oral cavity publicity. […and the object of scorn, ridicule and conversation at water coolers across the globe. No amount of money could have bought more far-reaching word of mouth publicity.] they’re getting better.

7. …have her ain line of perfume, have her ain concatenation of cabarets AND do billions on her ain each year. […has her own line of perfume, has her own chain of nightclubs AND makes millions on her own each year.] not sure why either.

9. The aware musical pandemonium is far more than hard to draw off than humans genuflect… [The carefully orchestrated chaos is far more difficult to pull off than people think] no way? way.

12. How can you make your piece? How can you lend to the planetary selling program that keeps her life style and donates the Godzilla and combustibles the hot iron stamp? [How can you do your part? How can you contribute to the global marketing plan that maintains Paris’ lifestyle, feeds the monster and fuels the brand?] what more need be said?

The image above? That’s the image equivalent to the article blender. Let’s call it the image blender. Would Paris ever wear that outfit? Here’s that original.

The original article.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 10th, 2007 at 10:26 pm and is filed under Celebrity Mishaps, Hot Actresses. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.